Goals...

Goals…

Have I written about goals before? Now that I’m typing it all out, it’s sounding familiar [in the general sense], but apparently I need to remind myself every now and then, so I suppose it’s good for me [shrug].. I guess.

My life some days seems to be dictated by my goals. For example, today’s goal was to fold all my laundry and get it into the appropriate drawers [success!]. I also have this weeks goals though: paint the last two freakin chairs that go with my dinning room set and touch up the coffee table, hang stupid pole in my closet successfully, then catch up on sleep [if there is time]. Beyond that, I have even more goals... I have goals for this month, and goals for before winter hits, and goals for before the new year. I have everything from small goals like “call the insurance people to find out how much I will have to pay if I get the new car”, to hugely vague goals like “be a better artist, practice more, be more disciplined”.

But I’m finding…. Meeting your goals is hard, especially when you are working 40+ hours a week and attempting to make a social life for yourself while still getting enough sleep to be healthy, carpe-ing the diem, paying bills, going to the grocery store.. sheesh.. generally I really love being grown up and on my own… But some days [shakes head]. There never seems to be enough hours in the day for me to do anything really really well. Like my art, I want to do it really well, from concept to technique to presentation. I want it all to be perfect and flawless… but I’m slow! I sometimes just wish I could have like, 2 more hours each day to live more of the life that I want/need to live.

[shrug]. My goal for this fall and winter is to research graduate schools again, this time I think for art history. I’m a bit scared; I’m not going to lie. Rejection sucks, and I am all about trying again and doing it better and that God has a master plan for why things turn out the way they do. But man, hearing [or reading] that they don’t think that you have enough of what they’re looking for [sigh]… suck. And I’m totally the kind of girl who believes them, not so that it debilitates me, but so that it empowers me to do better in order to prove them wrong. But I would rather not have to prove them wrong, I would rather be able to be strong from the beginning so that there was no reason for them to say no. Anyway, I’m trying to decide what that looks like for me… Do I need to study more art? Do I need to be book smart about it? Do I need to have a working knowledge about contemporary art? Should I take a class next semester to keep my feet wet? Hmph… But this goes back to my timing issues... when do I do all this? I know I can do it, but [sigh]... sometimes, it just takes a while in order to really convince yourself that they are wrong and that you will kick ass when they accept you into their program.

My two passions: art & dance. I feel like I can’t successfully do both as good as I want to. I can do both okay, or I can pick one and really give it all I’ve got to become good at it. Darn you time! Darn you! For today, and this season… I choose art. Which means I choose to become self disciplined, self motivated and successful… [nod]. Yes, that is what I will do this season.

So to start that out, here are two pieces that I am working on/working with/exploring.

Enjoy,

*maike rinaye*