I Am That Nosey Neighbor

We used to joke about my stalking abilities… let’s not lie…. I used to brag about my acquired stealthy skills watching people and not being detected.

Freshman year in college was the ‘it’ year for stalking. It didn’t help that we had the perfect digs for it; our room faced into the commons area and people were always doing something funny/entertaining/disgusting on the porch or on the designated “make-out-table” or somewhere between the two. And if that wasn’t bad enough, after like a month into our fall semester my roommate brought a pair of binoculars back to the dorms for us. Not only did we have the perfect view from the center of the third floor in Smith Hall, but we were operational with equipment! [smile]. Add that to the fact that my clothing freshman year was predominantly black and you can see why I became so damn good at stalking [smile].

The climax of my stalking days, however, was the end of freshman year when a friend and I actually snuck into another friends room [who was out of town for the weekend] to spy on the boy I had the biggest crush on [Scottie-The-Hottie, that unfortunately did not even know I existed… and ended up being a pot-head (sigh) I pick winners guys]. It was nuttso… and not only was it crazy, but it was to spy on him flirting & eventually making out with another girl [who we fondly referred to as Melificent].

I’m pretty convinced my actual physical stalking days were over after that little episode. But I then came into something much more informational. I discovered Google and facebook, which thus led into a state of learning how to be a better more knowledgeable stalker…. Information at your fingertips! On top of that, I was trained to be a reference librarian senior year, which for some of you means being uninteresting, full of useless information on research tools, and directing you to the proper classroom when you didn’t really pay attention last week when the professor gave you the details. Additionally, I’m not going to lie, it sounds pretty nerdy and boring. However, this was a great tool for understanding the basics for research…. more than just books and papers.

All this to say, that although there is no one here in Indy that I really feel the need to stalk, I am still, at the heart of it all, that person who wants to know other peoples business. If there is a domestic disturbance in our parking lot, I sure am going to get my cup and press it on the wall hoping that I can hear whatever it is they are yelling about or make up an excuse to go back to my car for something [as long as I’m not putting myself in danger of course]…. And if there are cops in our back yard talking to our useless landlord, heck yeah I’m going to open the window and try to ease drop. And on nights like tonight, where there are 4 cop cars in our parking lot and then a fire truck and an ambulance that pull in too, I’m going to shut the lights off in my room, open the window wider, whisper to the roommates that there’s something going on and sit with them waiting for what’s about to happen, speculating about what the story is.

Although my stalking days are mostly over, that thing inside me that wants to know is still there. I try not to make it to obvious, but at the end of the day, when the lights are out but there are still flashing red and blues in the parking lot…. I am most definately that nosey neighbor.

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*maike rinaye*