2017 New Years Week!

So, if you remember last year, I took a non-traditional, feel awesome approach to New Years Resolutions, instead of the old, "these are the things I'm going to change about my life, and going to continue for the next year".... which means I made a list of smallish-biggish-attainable tasks to finish by the end of the first week of the new year.

And this year I'm doing it again.

Because I liked it.

And I'm starting a little early, on both creating the list and starting on checking it off [hooray!]

With Ronald's help this year.

Sooooo here it is!

-mudroom: reorganize, recycle cardboard stuffs, and take other non-used things to the basement [did this the day after Christmas; maybe I'm a bad wife, but I don't care :)]

-finish making two more stockings [I figure I have better luck if I do it this year than next, and I've already made two stockings already, so just two more to go... because 4 seems like a good number, not because of any other reason ya'all!]

-clean the fridge [which isn't a terribly difficult task, just some spray and wipe down].

-clean out/re-arrange the black drawers in the dining room [they're full or random stuff right now, and they all feel like junk drawers].

-take printer upstairs to the office.

-file 2016 paperwork, put in basement, put new folders out.

-clean out upstairs closet.

-finish designing my wedding album/get it printed [I know, I know... 6+ years is an embarrassing amount of time to not have printed my own album yet... BUT, I'm going to do it!

AND you guys, I realize these are all stupid little tasks and perhaps normal people do them throughout the rest of the year, but for me, it feels like it's a good place to start the year off.  Cleaning up some things I've been putting off, organizing bits of my life, and feeling good about things... not everything [that's hard], but some things.  I like that I can take a week each year and address things that I've been contemplating but hadn't gotten around to yet, and just feel good about doing it.

So there you have it :).  2017 New Years list.

Last year I also did a grateful for 2015 list.

2016, with all it's ups and downs in the world, and with many people so ready to be done with it, I find myself to actually, personally having had a pretty damn decent year.  I'm grateful for my health, for my husband, and his job, and for the many experiences and traveling and love we’ve been able to experience this year.  

The beginning of 2016 started out with a random crazy idea to crowdsource [and really, friend-source], a free trip to Hawaii for my amazingly generous awesome friend Jill [see some of our photos HERE and HERE]… [Selfishly, I wanted someone to go with anyway, so this was the perfect way for me to go to Hawaii, visit Bonni, and to do it with one of my favorite people, and it was amazing and awesome and everything].  Then I was able to spend time in NM, celebrating the life of my crazy aunt, and hanging out with my lovely nephews [and the adult family of course too ;)].

Following that up, there were so many wonderful short trips to visit people all over [Madison a couple times, once for a cousin’s wedding, Lansing, South Bend, Nashville], and then our big trip to Germany, which was AWESOME.  And so many surprises and small acts of love and kindness throughout the year.

So yes, 2016 was full of a lot of awful stuff in the world, from refugees, and war, to an election year filled with terrible vitriol.  BUT, it was also filled with beautiful things.

WHICH, brings me to my hopes for 2017!  I hope to continue to look for ways to bring love and kindness into the world.  I hope to continue to speak truths and encouragement to the kiddos I come in contact with when tutoring.  I hope to actively look for the people being oppressed, and to stand up for their human rights and work hard to see them as people, just like me.  I hope to use not only my time and talent to make changes, but also our money.  And I hope humanities response to such a hard world 2016 is to stand tall, and be brave, and fight for honesty and kindness, and equality.

This year, we have some big things planned, but I’m also hoping for a year of growth and contentment.  [Can those two things be on the list together?  They seem a bit contradictory, but I think they can be there together].  God has continued to provide for us, and my wish is for contentment in living day to day without exorbitance, and the desire to have more or better or newer.  To be content knowing we live in a world where many people live without, and we’re NOT one of those people.  And growth.  Because I want to grow and learn those things better.  I want to grow into a person who lives.  Who doesn’t spend their days hoping for something to happen to them, but instead spends their days learning and growing and getting better and brighter and more educated.

So there you have it!  My 2016 re-cap and my 2017 hopes.

I hope you all have a safe and lovely entrance into 2017!  I hope you continue to focus on your passions and grow your interests, and to put aside those things that don’t do either for you.

Cheers!
-mrp-

Now What?

That’s the titles of an article in my recent Time Magazine, “NOW WHAT?”

Last week I wasn’t ready for the NOW WHAT… and I know some of my friends still aren’t, and that’s totally okay.  I respect the fact we each have a different timeline for grieving [Trump supporters, please back off, you might think it’s silly to ‘grieve’ a presidency, but it’s real, and explaining it takes a lot of words and this post isn’t about the grief].

 One of my favorite Avett Brothers songs is Head Full of Doubt/Road Full of Promise.  I was talking to R yesterday and wondering what the Avetts felt about this election, pretty much solely because they have a lyric that says: “And your life doesn't change by the man that's elected.”

In processing I’ve thought about this a lot, because in my day to day life, I don’t really feel like my life changes by the elected officials.  But I’m white, and I was born in the USA, and I’m from a middle class family, with an education.  Largely, I think, I haven’t been on the fringe of society, where the elected officials often DO make a difference in your life.

BUT, back to NOW WHAT.

Later on in the Avett song, it says, “Decide what to be and go be it.”

I LOVE this lyric.

The point of response to the election results I’m in right now is this point.  I don’t really believe the election results will change.  I don’t think enough of the electoral college is going to vote for HRC, and even if Donald is impeached, the runner up is Pence, and I don’t think he stands for my beliefs in what I hope for the USA either.

But, as is often the case… when I’m told ‘no’, I look for ways around it, and ways I can turn it into a partial yet, or a negotiation, instead of a hard no.  And this no, I feel like it’s prompting me [and a large part of the USA], into action.  Where we look at our life and decide what to be and go be it.

I haven’t decided how it’s going to look, but before the president-elect get’s sworn in on January 20, 2017, I’ve decided I’m going to take steps to ACTIVELY protect those groups of people whom he has made fun of, stereotyped, talked poorly of, or mistreated.  I’m actively going to give money to organizations promoting peace, and unity, organizations working to HELP the immigrants, the women who have been assaulted, the mentally challenged folk who were made fun of, the minorities which seem to be continually pushed to the side of the white world.  And I’m going to pick some things to show up for/at, in support of what they are doing.  I have opportunities to get involved, and I’m going to use this as a moment to decide what to be and go be it.

Also, Indiana, if you'd like to be involved as well, here's a link to some opportunities: http://www.nuvo.net/gyrobase/blogs/Post?id=Slash&year=2016&month=11&day=09&basename=26-loving-actions-you-can-do-today-to-support-progress-in-indiana

Well, he won, now what…..

I’ve admittedly never been this involved in a presidential election [I even gave money to Bernie Sanders], and Ronald says I’m more emotionally involved in this election than any previously…. but that doesn’t really dull the pain of the extreme and unexpected grief I feel this morning.

Waking up to a Donald presidency is not what I envisioned yesterday morning as I was casting my ballot for the first ever female president of the United States of America.

And until yesterday, I don’t think I emotionally felt what today would feel like.  In either way.  

I spent a few moments yesterday thinking about how tomorrow I might be able to say I voted for the first ever female president.  I was part of a historical moment.

I did not think at all that I would live through a different type of historical moment.  One where an uneducated, historically family rich, business owner, billionaire, who openly made fun of almost every minority ever found in the USA, would be president.

I didn’t fully absorb that possibility.

So now, it’s Wednesday morning after election day, and I’m sad.

I appreciate the posts about hope I’ve found on fb, and I’ve appreciated the words that speak to loving others well, and how we can continue to do that regardless of who the president is.

But this morning I’m sort of not ready for that.

I know and hope I will be… but today I’m just sad… and angry…. and tearing up… and thinking of the people who might be in jeopardy under a president who condones violence, and who doesn’t respect freedom of speech, among many other things that I love love LOVE the United States for.

To end this sad day post, here are some of the fb posts that have most stuck with me and what I would like to comment but refuse to comment on:

“Well maybe I'm the faggot America.

I'm not a part of a redneck agenda.

Now everybody do the propaganda.

And sing along to the age of paranoia.

//

Don't want to be an American idiot.

One nation controlled by the media.

Information age of hysteria.

It's calling out to idiot America.” -Green Day

—->A 2004 song that speaks to much to what happened yesterday.  Fuck.

“He actually won. Get ready Hillary. Think she will end up in a new house too? A jail house? Many said he would not be president. Amazing! If you want to sell your house to move out of the country, please call and let me help you. God chose a new president. As Pence just said, he is grateful to God for His grace and appreciative of president elect Donald Trumps vision n leadership. God bless America. Hillary has conceded too. Amazing. Don't think Trump can actually believe it himself. Think he is truly humbled but ready! Now we can be united TOGETHER! Now we can pray for our new president TOGETHER! Now we can rebuild America with a new dream. With Trump and so many Republicans in house and senate, a new Supreme Court and vision for truth. Winds of change. Why would God choose this way? Sleep well because of Him, not him! YHWH is in control more than we can imagine!” -Arch

—-> “Uhm, so would you still think this if Hillary had won?  Also, do you think people just weren't praying hard enough before Hitler came into power?  Also, you REALLY think we can be united together, when he has continually divided everything that makes the american people the american people? [race, gender, sexuality, difference, where we were born].  Lastly, it sounds like you REALLY believe that republican-ism is going to save the USA.  Sorry for bringing this up, but republicans have continually not shown support to pregnant women, LGBT individuals, poor people, etc.  Jesus showed support and love to all those people.  I think your version of god is much different than the Jesus/God that I love and strive to be like.  I’m not saying the democratic party has all it’s shit together, but I am saying we need different opinions and growth and challenges to grow towards truth and understanding of all people and to love well.

“America will never be destroyed from the outside. If we falter and lose our freedoms, it will be because we destroyed ourselves.”

-Abraham Lincoln

—->*grimace*…. oh boy.

“As I fade in and out of sleep, I am reminded of something I read a while back. This pendulum shift is not uncommon. After times of great achievement for minorities comes times of great oppression from the majority due to fear that a minority will "take over" the county. A prominent example is immediately following the signing of the emancipation proclamation and the reconstruction. Reconstruction was a period when Black men entered the political process and held local and federal political seats in former slave holding states (e.g. Wilmington, NC). When white "rebels" couldn't deal with this, they literally murdered hundreds of people and burned down a port city in North Carolina. Then they pushed for Jim Crow laws which were successful. After decades of systematic disenfranchisement black people pushed back hard enough to undo a tragic period in our history.

The moral of the story is, we knew this could happen. The key is to push back hard and quickly. America has shown you who she is. If you are not a wealthy white male, she just may not give an eff about you. So...PUSH BACK! A lost battle is not a lost war.”

——>Okay, I’m almost ready to pull up my big girl panties and get to work.  The job seems SO much bigger, and harder, and more necessary than it was before this morning.  Tomorrow I will choose to wake up and fight.  I will choose to look out for my minority brothers and sisters, in the grocery store, in church, in my neighborhood.  I will choose to step up and defend the poor, and the weak, and the struggling.  Tomorrow I will find more ways to get involved and love people better than today.  Tomorrow I will refuse to let the bully push me or other folks that aren’t white, heterosexual, males around.  Tomorrow I will be part of the USA who I love and admire and look up to.

Today: Yoga and no more social media.

-mrp-

Tingling....

I really shouldn't read facebook anymore. Ronald said just the other day something to effect of, "I don't know why I even get on facebook. It's full of stupid." And it really is so full of different opinions and stupid STUPID meme's that are passed around thousands and thousands of people but never fact check, and never THOUGHT about.

How infuriating.

Every once in a while it gets to me.

Today is one of those days.

Someone posted this:


And I freakin wanted to go off.

I first try to scroll past, and let it go, and chalk it up to where they live and not having anyone to actually argue with about facts and opinions and real life beyond just their bubble.

But then I come back, and I start typing up a response... then I think better of it "trolls! trolls! trolls!!!!!"

So I open up a direct message.

Then I close the direct message.

And now, just re-reading this, and the stupid tag line underneath it: "Jobs" get in the way of conservatives protesting.

And it makes me so mad.
It makes me have those mad tingles all over my arms and sort of makes me twitch a little.
It's moments like these that make me HATE facebook. And make me really wish there was a way to debate and search TOGETHER about the truths or falsities in these stupid memes.
Ahh, I should go do some yoga, or watch gilmore girls, or something less infuriating than this.
Which is why I'm here! It really does help to have a place to put all these words and feelings. For whatever reason it helps me get over things.

So HERE is what I would have said:

You and I think way differently on this, BUT, protesting is a really important part of our freedom of speech. The ability and freedom to protest an event and stand up for something you think is unjust/wrong/hateful has been a HUGE reason why there is change. Specifically for you and I, why we as women are allowed to vote, and have rights, and be able to work in good conditions and be seen closer to equals of our male counterparts. And you KNOW there were so many men who rolled their eyes at those women protestors. Who spat at them, who called them trash, and told them to go home and make a meal for their husbands. [Even after all the years and laws and advances, those men STILL exist].

Of course there are going to be protestors who are doing things for good, and protestors who are doing things for bad [see the terrible Westboro Baptist church that protests military funerals]. But it's a right. A right that changes our country. A right that is necessary so that evil doesn't get to reign.

Also, 'tolerance' and 'protesting' are two different things. Tolerance for differences and different opinions does NOT mean that when there is an injustice we sit back and just 'tolerate' it. Tolerating a muslim in the USA is not the same thing as sitting by and tolerating a man raping a woman, or strangling a kid. And I know it's my opinion, but tolerance for hate from any of those listed republicans above, is NOT something we should sit back and let go on by as just a 'they're different than us' kind of tolerance.

Can you imagine a trump supporter or group of supporters at a Bernie Sanders rally? What would they say? "Build a wall! Build a wall!" Or, "kill all muslims"?

I think "stop the hate" [what protesters chanted at a trump rally in St. Louis], is a far different cry than ANYTHING the trump supporters would chant.

Okay, I wasn't going to say all that, really just the first two paragraphs and maybe I would have touched somehow on the third paragraph.

I keep thinking back to my time in Germany, after high school. I was watching a bride and groom with my cousin, and she introduced me to this older guy and said I was from the US, and one of the first things he wanted to talk about was the Bill and Monica scandal. And of course, all I could do was shake my head in shame.

I feel like if we go to Europe this year, and we have conversations with Europeans, the trump fiasco will be a talking point, and I'll have to shake my head and try to translate "embarrassing" and "hateful man".

I've never done much political volunteerism, but this might be the year I volunteer to drive people to the polls. I NEED to believe that we'll elect someone good and moral into office instead of a hate-filled, race-war-wanting, terrible human being.

-mrp-

Welcome 2016!!!

Tomorrow marks the end of the first full week of 2016.

I did my 'resolutions' a bit differently this year.  I picked three things I wanted to be able to check off my list within the first week of the new year.

#1. Deep Clean the Refrigerator - We're actually pretty clean people, so it's not like our fridge was growing anything, but there had been some jelly spills, and a random powdery yuck that was on one of the shelves.  I actually was able to get this one done before New Years Day.  Woke up early-ish on NYE and had it almost done before Ronald woke up.  Bonus, I also organized it a bit better and threw out some old, expired items.  Nothing like starting a new year with some cleanliness!

#2. File away all the paperwork, store 2015 paperwork away, and make new folders for 2016 - Did most of this last weekend, but Ronald helped last night [by writing my tabs for me], and we finished it all up, and as of this morning, all the storage boxes of files are where they belong.  Hooray for not dragging my feet until mid February to get this done!

#3. Organize my desk and office/make it a happier place by putting art on the walls, etc - This was the biggest most challenging one of them all.  And honestly, I'm only half way through :/.  BUT, Ronald and the boys are playing DND tonight, so I'll probably be able to get more done tonight, to make my deadline.

I wish I had taken before shots of my desk, because there were serious PILES of clutter, and stacks of old paperwork/magazines/notes.  Now they're all gone, and I actually added a lamp to the desk [which is actually just a kitchen table].

I mentioned in a previous blog, I've been reading The Life Changing Magic of Tidying Up.  It's like one of the new crazes that is sweeping America.  I started the book, didn't finish, and then through conversations here and there, sort of started a little accountability thing with my mom and Aunt Kathy.  So we're all reading it and going to try to apply it to our lives and our stuff.  I'm hoping to go out and visit my mom in the next couple of months [there's going to be a new nephew born soon], and we'll tackle a few things together.

ALL THAT TO SAY.... tackling my office has been a bigger commitment than I originally intended, because it's not so much, "move things around and organize better", but a true "go through things and pitch stuff you don't use any more".  Which takes time.  So I know, long term, it's going to be great.  But short term, my desk is cleared off, but the rug is FULL of all my stuff I'm going through and deciding what to do with :/.

Anyway, I'm excited about 2016.  A little nervous about weddings [I only have three booked so far], but I'm hopeful, and I'm reminding myself, that my smallest year of weddings as a bonafide business, was also a year that I'm incredibly proud of the work, and loved each and every wedding.  So growing pains.

Things I'm grateful/proud about/of in 2015:
-moving to Indy [it's such a good fit for us]
-photographing 16 weddings this year [yay]
-being able to see my grandmother before she died
-being able to travel to NM again for her funeral
-my husband having a job he is respected at, good at, and enjoys
-the art show I put on when I was teaching up in Mishawaka
-paying off my student loans [yay!!!]
-good health, good customers, good experiences


Things I'm hopeful about in 2016:
-traveling more [I'm hoping for Hawaii and Europe]
-saving for a downpayment on a second house [yikes, as scary as that sounds]
-pursuing more personal work in art and in photography
-learning German better
-drawing more
-learning more about God/bible
-putting more energy into friendships, and being vulnerable within those friendships [thanks Daring Greatly/Brene Brown]
-writing a short story [just because I haven't, doesn't mean I can't, right?]

So there you have it.  My 2015 recap, and my 2016 hopes!  I hope you all are also enjoying the new leaf of 2016!

-mrp-