Christmas Slump

So yesterday was Christmas.  And it was lovely.

My fantastic husband bought me a beautiful purse [which I had found months earlier], and filled it with all sorts of 'purse things' [a compact mirror, and umbrella, chocolate, nail file, bottle opener].  It was lovely.  My FAVORITE thing though, was that he took my old broken key fob and FIXED IT!!!!!

Seriously.  I was so excited and shocked.  I now have remote control start again [hooray!].

After a great morning together, where he used his new french press and I ate the pistachio muffin he had bought for me the night before, we headed out the his aunt's house to eat and play games with the family.

But today, I find myself in a slump.  Ronald has gone back to work, I slept in, facebooked, read the huffington, and just interrupted my blog writing to take a look at postsecret.com.

I'm not necessarily feeling bad... but I'm just way unenthusiastic about getting anything done... which I have a ton to do.

Things I need to do:
-edit december weddings [x2]
-edit boudoir session
-edit family session
-blog wedding
-blog family
-clean kitchen
-vacuum
-file papers
-go shopping for M.Rinaye disks, etc.
-get ready for bridal show
-exchange some pants at the mall
-go to the post office to ship a couple late x-mas presents [the recipients are all traveling, so I'm not just a slacker].
-the list
-goes on
-and on!

Things I want to do instead:
-blog [obviously]
-read
-be lazy
-craft
-yoga class at noon :)

Anyway, I'm determined to get some things checked off my list today, since my extra days before X-mas, I was basically buying gifts, wrapping gifts and doing other random stuff [okay, so really it was catching up on Scandal and Greys].

Anyway, morning slump.  But hopefully I can get out of it by going to the yoga class at noon [please God let it not be canceled!].

So, I leave you with this, a joke from Bentley!

-mrp-

halloween

Most of you know that I really dig halloween.  I just like costumes... and creativity.

I have to admit, it makes me really happy to see all of my friends who have kids, and are posting their awesome halloween costumes and outfits on the fb.

Which makes me sort of wish we had kids to dress up.  Unfortunately, I only have Bentley and Ronald.

-mrp-

filed under "things I love"

I love it when I'm culling/editing wedding images from my second shooter and myself, and I come across an image I don't immidiately recognize as my own, and I'm like, "woah!  That image is GREAT!"... and then I look to see it's MINE!  And then I'm like, 'ya damn right! get it girl!'....

-mrp-

AK

Yup, I don't care what people say, Ashton Kutcher is freakin adorable.

[a fb friend apparently went and saw him give some sort talk or something, and said he was also very smart].

-mrp-

kiddos

Yesterday, I got to the day job a bit late [there was ice on my windshield, and I took 10 seconds to try to find the scraper, but had no luck, so instead I sat and waited for it to de-thaw (shrug)].  Anyway, generally no big deal, but as I walked in, one of the kids says, "hey, where's your tardy slip!".... :)

Then later, the same kid [who is pretty darn cute], is talking with another kid that goes to our church, and was asking him if he saw Mr. Pulliam.  Then they agreed that he should come to school some day.  Which I replied, "like for show-and-tell?"....

-mrp-

m + r = 3

2013

-mrp-

Today...

Today, I'm sort of over being nice, and generous.

-mrp-

God and War

So, I think I've mentioned I'm working part time at a Christian school in town.  It has been really really interesting lately.  Not only the things I remember about myself at that age, but also the things I see within the class community [the jock, the dork, the preppy girl, etc].

A few weeks ago I lead class since the lead teacher was absent for the day, and it was just easier than having the substitute try to lead.  We always start out with devotions, prayer requests and then the pledge.  Prayer requests in themselves are pretty interesting, to see what matters, and to see what trends [the other day, someone said something about teenagers ringing the doorbell at their house as a prank, and it was a request because the kids parents have a new job, and need sleep.  Anyway, totally trended, and all of the sudden everyone had hands raised in order to add that they had been pranked too].

The devotions I lead that day, had something to do with being far away from God, and the response questions were about imagining a world where there wasn't a God, and what it would look like.  I came up with things like, being lonely at times, and missing the comfort in knowing God has a plan and will take care of me.  These kiddos though, leaned much more towards things like, the world would be at war, and there would be a lot of murder and killing.

What I wanted to say, was something along the lines of, 1. God is here in the world, and there is still a lot of murder and killing and wars.  And 2. God actually was a big part of old testament wars.  He not only sent communities into war, but guided them in success or failure.

But you can't say that to a bunch of 4th and 5th graders.

They might get it....maybe.... but even so, they might also go home to their parents and ask questions about what Mrs. P said about God being around with wars and murder and killing.

I wonder if it's good to teach children black and white.  Because the older I get, and the more I study the bible, the more grey everything seems.  The more difficult it seams to hold onto the black and white truths most Christians sight in their politics, and morals.

I think that might have been the other thing that struck me.  Morals.  I had a friend [an atheist], who once said to another friend, "Just because I don't believe in any God, doesn't mean I don't have morals!"  And it's an interesting concept, because Christians often believe because they are Christians they have a higher moral calling than other people who don't believe in Christ.  When the truth is individuals from both Christians and unbelievers can hold moral values.... and individuals from both groups can also be amoral.

So likewise, I guess I have a bit of faith in humanity, that if God were to leave earth, things wouldn't all go to war and killing right away.  And I guess I also value more the personal connection I have with Christ.

Anyway, it was interesting to think about and hear them talk about.

-mrp-

ps: their bonus word on their spelling test today was "chagrin"... I looked at it, and thought, "seriously!?"... then we had a conversation about what it meant [I googled that shit to make sure I was right ;)].

Friday night...

Ronald is doing some sort of hack-a-thon thing this weekend, so tonight and most of tomorrow I'm flying solo.  Today, I volunteered signing people in for the Color Run that's happening tomorrow, and I have a few plans for tomorrow.

But here I sit at 8pm on a Friday night, and have been avoiding things on my to-do list [ie: catching up on Greys, and Scandal].  I have things like finish editing a wedding, and clean some dishes, clean the house.

So, while I was trying to give myself a pep talk, "you can do it, you need to do it", I also happened to be gazing into the refrigerator, and added, "you can have a glass of margarita while you edit!"... and suddenly there was much much more motivation to work on this Friday night.

Here's hoping your Friday night is more exciting than mine!

-mrp-

guns and babies

I was in speech and debate in high school, and one of the things Mr. G always reminded us was to try to work in babies, or people dying... the best of course being babies dying.  Winners win with dead baby facts.

Only somewhat related, I often come across some gun/weapon/freedom-to-bear arms clip-art share with a gazillion likes on facebook..... and am always caught off guard when I look to see who posted it [mostly to roll my eyes towards*], and find myself shaking my head.  Inevitably it is the same person who three posts prior shared with the facebook world some alien baby photo** with a pro-life slogan plastered across in big bold letters.

And the thing I just can't wrap my head around, is the notion that babies are innocent, and free from sin and should have a chance in this seriously messed up and broken world to live, BUT if you are a thief, or a gang-banger, or a general bad-decision maker, you shouldn't get that same chance.  Nope, you should probably get shot with my gun.

I guess I also sort of get stuck on the nature versus nurture thing too.  Because if you believe an individual is a bad person/criminal/asshole by nature, then you believe when they were in their mothers belly, they were also bad then.  If you believe an individual is a bad/person/criminal/no-gooder by nurture, then shouldn't you also believe said no-gooder might have a chance to change and become better, since her nasty ways were learned behaviors?

Anyway, I know people don't agree on this, and probably never will.  And I get that.  But it does bother me.  Especially when it's other Christians, and they are spewing hate instead of love.  I really think if Jesus where here now, he wouldn't have time for a facebook account, but if he did, it'd be to encourage people and love people.  Did he speak truth to people?  Absolutely.  But did he slam it in their faces with disturbing photographs?  No way.  He loved.  He forgave.  And then he helped guide our poor broken human-kind to be a bit better than we were before we met him.

-mrp-

*if there was an emoticon for this, I would want to use it all the time.
**To clarify: I think we should have the right to bear arms.  Totally.  I also think there should be limits and restrictions on how fast those arms we're bearing can kill a multitude of people.  I don't see anything wrong with having those rules.  This is why fireworks are okay, but bombs are not.  I also, am against abortions.  But, I am pro-choice.  Confusing I know... I think it probably has something to do with my idea's about the division of church and state.

#5/30

Last Saturday Ronald and I went to a couple wineries with Meg's and Cam for a picnic which was lovely... then, Ronald and I went to the dollar theater, where I switched my normal low-ish pony tail to a side pony... and then sort of liked the result, so decided to play around a bit with my new camera and a sweet lens...

Which brings us to #5/30 [which some of you might have already seen on fb... I like it a lot... and I REALLY like how my profile page looks together now :).  The blue paint peeling wall behind as my banner, and then the sharp black and white portrait in front... it's totally my style, so I believe it will probably stay that way for a while :).

extreme...

Working with 4th and 5th graders part time [in the mornings as a teachers aid], creates extreme polar's for me... today that polar was, "I never want to have kids, they are exhausting".

whew.

I had a kiddo today break down because life was too tough, and his mom requires too much from him.... I might have told him he was acting like the victim and that he was NOT a victim.

He doesn't seem to get that the choices HE makes have consequences.  It's not her fault he didn't get an A on the spelling test, or that he didn't finish his homework... [sigh]... sheesh.

On the other hand, parents that aren't involved also need to step up, especially the first few weeks of school as kids are developing habits.

-mrp-

Back in School...

So, I've found myself officially back in school.  Okay, that doesn't exactly mean what it says there :).  As part of our pay-off-the-damn-debt-plan, I've taken on a few extra jobs recently.

This summer, as most of you know, I have been working in the box office at The Cove, the baseball park here in town, selling tickets for a couple hours most games.  Which has been great, and fun, and well... just cool to say that I worked in baseball for a summer.  Will I do it again next year?  Ya, Ronald and I haven't talked about it, but probably.

In addition to that, I've also started being a teachers assistant at a local Christian school... hence the 'finding myself back in school' part.

All that to say, I'm now back in the realm of kids, and listening to them talk.  This year it's 4th and 5th graders, which is quite different from my normal 4 and 5 year old's, but still sort of cool.

So I thought I'd share.  Last Friday, they were talking about what their parents do for a living [to fully understand the word "livelihood"].  And most of them were like, "my dad does this", or "my dad does that", but then there were two kids [one boy and one girl], and the one said, "My dad works at Notre Dame and my mom is an exterminator"... the other said, "My mom fixes computers"....

...

And I wanted to high five both those awesome momma's.  First, for showing their kids that if they want, they can be more than a stay-at-home parent.  And then also, for pushing into a career role mostly set aside for men.  Rock on ladies.  I think it's awesome.  Breaking the gender barriers.

-mrp-

them jeans...

Today I slipped [okay, this is not the right verb; it was more like, 'squirmed my way into'], a pair of jeans I hadn't put on for probably a year or so.

And the experience made it clear that one of two things are true.

1. I used to wear jeans MUCH tighter than I currently do.

or

2.  Hip's don't lie... or the thighs, or the calf's for that matter.

Meh.

I don't actually care too much EXCEPT for the difficulty it takes to get in the damn things.

-mrp-

“The miracle isn't that I finished. The miracle is that I had the courage to start.” ― John Bingham

So I have some updates!

1. last year around this time, I started running [remember this?].  I remember being really excited about running a full mile without stopping [I texted Ronald when it happened :) and then blogged about it later HERE].

UPDATE -> I'm still running.  Not as often as I was when I was getting ready for the Color Run, but probably once a week at least [I mix in yoga, since there is free yoga Monday, Wednesday and Fridays in the park nearby].  Ronald, Keira and I ran the 5K at the Sunburst, which is a local run from downtown South Bend, to Notre Dame University Football Stadium on June 1st.  And, although I didn't keep up with either of the other two, I'm happy to announce that I didn't stop/walk at all either :).  My official stats are as follows:
Overall Place: 1796 of 3256
Gender Place: 735 of 1749
Female 25-29: 89 of 220
Total Time: 33:32:79
Total Pace: 10:30/M

2. last year also around this time, I was talking about how we paid off the car!

UPDATE -> We've now officially paid off our line of credit!  Hooray! Now onto saving, before paying off school loans :).

3. a few months ago, I talked about goals, and new patterns, etc. [HERE].

UPDATE -> Turns out 3 things each day is sort of hard.  I've since switched to do yearly things.  This year it will be reading the bible, since that's the one that I've continued to do, in a somewhat consistent way [I'm only 2 days behind now, and since the old testament part has been reading names/daddies/mothers/etc in Hosea, I should be able to catch up today or tomorrow (uhm, ya 'cause I don't actually read all the names, that just seems silly to me)].  Next year perhaps I'll do the German for a year and see what I can learn :).

ALL TOGETHER:

It's sometimes fun to see where you were a year ago and where you are now.  On a recent run with Ronald, he asked what I felt was different last year (when I was rejoicing over running a full mile without stopping), and this year, although sometimes I have to stop, I know I CAN keep going for 3 miles.  After thinking about it a bit, I answered with I thought my mind was stronger.... and my lungs.  I didn't think I would actually die/pass out now.... [okay, some days I still do, but whatever].

In comparing the debt list, while we still have a lot of debt to pay off, it's sort of awesome to see what all we've paid off so far [we've paid off a total of $19,000 in 2.5 years].  And to know that more opportunities will be open in the future.  If we paid that much off in two and a half years, in a few years we could be traveling the world without using a credit card.  Which is definitely a goal of mine.

Bible reading.  I'm almost half way through [since I started in March].  Which is pretty great.  Since I've never read the entire bible before, I keep coming across things that are cool/crazy [yeah, and definitely some things that pastors leave out of Sunday morning sermons].  And I think I'm getting a better understanding of history versus now.  People on the internet are always like, "What's this world coming to that this is happening"... and sometimes, depending on what "this" is, I think to myself, "actually, crazy shit has been happening for centuries. you think it's crazy that there's this dude eating someone else zombie style on the side of the road (and it is, totally), but have you read the part in the bible where the two women agree to eat their kids to survive?!?" [they were in the middle of a famine, you can read it HERE].

In any case.  There you have it, my updates.  And now I've got to get back to my job and edit some more wedding photos :).  Wedding down in Indy this weekend!

-mrp-

#4/30

It's been a while, sorry about that... summer = fun stuff = not a lot of extra time = more photography!.. [well, the paid photography that is :)].

So here's numero cuatro:

Mom moment :)

For those of you that have kids, I know you've experienced that moment when you are just so damn proud of your kid.  Like, when they go to a new preschool and the teacher says that they were a doll to have in class, and they're looking forward to having them around everyday.

You casually say, "That's so great!  Thank so much, we're excited to be here too!"

And then you get in the car, and you're like, "Thank the Lord they were good!"

I had one of those moments today.  I took Bentley to the groomer [ya, I'm liking my dog to your kid, whatev], and when I went to pick him up, they said, "He was really good, and a very charming little guy".

And I got in the car and thought, "I will come back to you, because not only did you say he was good, but you said he was charming".... which he actually isn't charming very often towards me, but I'm glad he was charming for them :).

Anyway, it was a mom-ish moment.  Especially because I had to warn them ahead of time that he hadn't done his business before we came this morning [I opened up the door, he took one step out and watched the rain coming down, turned his head back to me with that look, "Woman, you have got to be kidding!".  He knew.  There wasn't a damn chance I would want to go out there to pee, and I'm a pushover, so I wasn't going to make him go out either.]

-mrp-

woah!

Last weekends wedding was FABULOUS [I'll post more at http://blog.mrinaye.com in the next couple of weeks :)].

But I was looking at my fb page insites today, and WOAH!... doubled from my last big woah moment :).

I think I might be getting the hang of this whole photography business thing :)... I'm at least doing something right.

Summer wedding #2 is this weekend, and there's a 30% chance of rain... here's to praying it stays away!

-mrp-

The Parental Visit!

Whew... so when I visit places, especially for the first time, I like to DO things... and so, when people visit here, especially for the first time, I like to DO things with them :).

And it turns out that South Bend/Michiana are actually has a lot to do in the summer!  Here's a run down of our schedule with the parents:

Friday - parents arrive on train in Chicago, we grab pizza and have a picnic in the green area to the south of the Art Institute of Chicago [I got into Chicago early so that I could wander around this museum before meeting them at Union Station].... it was awesome.  We go check out the Bean in Millennium Park, and then head back on the South Shore train to get in fairly late to South Bend.

Saturday - Mom and I start the day with some free yoga at 8am, then head to the Farmers Market, have lunch, and then drive out to Amish Land for the best donuts ever, and to walk around the store areas in Shipshewanna.

Then we head home, make Fettuccine Alfredo, and then head to a baseball game, where we won! [hooray!], and it turns out it was the game making the Silverhawks the 1st Half Eastern Division Champions!  It was very cool.  A somewhat close game, and then all the players came out and did the dumping of the Gatorade over the coach, and jumped up and down, then went to the lockers and drank champagne, and then came out again in their sock to run the bases and run around celebrating.  It was cool.

Sunday - Church, dollar tacos, movie [Star Trek; Dad's choice for fathers day], steak/lobster/salad/asparagus for dinner.  SOO yummy.

Monday - BEACH!  We went to New Buffalo, where we had a picnic and then got dessert stuff at a place called Nancy's [which I of course took pictures of my mother in front of].  Then we went to ND to take a look at the Basilica and the Grotto, and the Main Building [it really is a beautiful campus].  Then took them to Pullrite to have a tour, and then mom and I caught some more free yoga outside at the park, before we headed to Fiddlers for some dinner.

Tuesday - Drove into Chicago to go to the Shedd Aquarium.  We got there at 9:30 [it opened at 9am], and there was a line out the door and down the stairs.  We finally got in at 10am, walked around, saw everything, and then had lunch there before I dropped them off in Midway to catch their flight to see my brother and his family in North Carolina.... which of course ended up being delayed.

It was SUCH a great visit.  And I'm sort of in that mode of, "I can't believe that it's already gone/over".

I'm really glad they came to visit, and see my life here.  There's just something about it that's comforting.  Maybe also in referencing things on the phone after this.  They'll actually be able to know what I'm talking about.

But now back to the grind.  Gotta prep for my wedding this weekend, and I have a list of other things to get finished and check off as well.

-mrp-

R

R: "When we get older, I think we should own a diner."
....
.....
....

Ya, that could be fun :)...

Uck. That moment when you've been having a bad day and to top it off you have to go to the grocery store and you give the most cheesiest fake smile ever to the clerk that's checking you out. F. She knows.

-mrp-

"....I like girls that wear abercrombie and fitch... I'd take her if I had one wish...."

Have you all seen this?

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2013/05/14/abercrombie-and-fitch-homeless-brand-readjustment_n_3272498.html

So I saw this link for the first time last night, and while it's unique and interesting... I'm not sure it's really that great of an idea.  While this is saying 'screw you' to A&F, it's also saying, 'let's give their clothing items to the opposite of the pretty people/cool kids'... and why would you want to say that?... It's sort of de-humanizing.

I'm all for sticking it to the man, especially that man... but perhaps there is a better way.

Perhaps we should make A&F products into baby diapers... because then they'd be covered in shit :).

-mrp-

#3/30

So part of this 30 before 30 is pushing myself to take not only 30 self portraits [which is a feat in itself], but to also make them interesting.  I'm going to assume that people don't actually want to see 30 selfies of me.... [boooooring].

I'm hoping that as I'm thinking, and the months go on, that I'll push myself to do things that are not traditional portraiture.  That are more art.

So today's image was created with that in mind.  I'm not 100% satisfied with it [I wish there was more space between my feet and the ground], but it's a start to better art portraits in the future.

*click the image above to see it larger.

-mrp-

ps: this was taken at New Buffalo beach.  I love the emptyness of the beach.  There will only be a few more weeks of emptyness I bet.

#2/30

Numero dos!

*mrp*

The Bentley...

*Bentley, running all over trying to get away from his weird smell [of flea stuff just put on his back].

me: Come here stinky dog!
*rubs puppies back and gives kisses
me: Do you not like how you smell?
Bentley: Grrrrr
me: But it's killing all the bugs!

***now he will go and lay in one spot for about 30 seconds before he gets up to move to a different spot, trying to get away form the smell... of himself :).

-mrp-

In a few weeks....

I'll be headed down to Indy to photograph a boudoir session, and then an event with School on Wheels, and then hang out with some photog friends, and then hang out with some church friends, and then meet up with a friends new [ish], baby!

I'm excited about it.

But I just e-mailed the friend I'm staying with, and she mentioned it was firefighters week in Indy [her Dad's a firefighter].

And I was like:

THE FIREFIGHTERS CONVENTION!!?!!?! [smile].  My favorite time of the year in Indy!!!! [well, when I was single :)]; it is like the first real sign of spring :).

-mrp-

ps: remember this? wahahahaha rofl... lol... ha ha ha

Munchkin...

Have you played it?  There are a lot of cards, and a lot of reading, but it's fun.

And there are a ton of different genres: zombie, space, regular, pirate, etc.

So looking for something that was challenging, fun and short enough I could do it every night [ish], and not be overwhelmed, I decided to start drawing from the munchkin deck.

Here we are so far:

I finished up another 5x7 sketch book with these images :).

*mrp*

Kindergarten

A few weeks ago I substitute taught a kindergarten class at a private school here in town [maybe I mentioned it here or somewhere?].

Anyways, at one point, we sat down to do journal time where I give them a prompt and then they draw a picture and write a sentence about it.

I can't even remember what my prompt was [it was supposed to do something with the story we read right before].

What I do remember is, as we are drawing, one of the kids picks up his paper, barely written on and says he messed up and needs a new sheet.  I inquire about how he messed up and encourage him to draw around it or draw it into the story, but he starts to crumble it up, while telling me their teacher lets them start over.  Which of course ticks me off.  And I say something like, "well, I'm here today, and while we'll do a lot of things like your teacher does, this isn't going to be one of them".

In the end he crumpled up his paper in a ball, and I had to have a talk about respecting teachers, and when they ask something he needs to do it.  I should have made him draw on the crumpled up sheet.  But I didn't.

I was thinking though, what exactly are we teaching kids with that approach?  Are we teaching them if they mess up they can start all over, and not worry about the first mess up?  I know this is one of those small nit-picky things where it's ridiculous to pinpoint what it really is teaching kids.  But to a certain extent, I think the small things like this do teach kids problem solving skills for the future.

Should we have kids, I want them to know it's okay to mess up, and inevitable that they will mess up.  But they can't just run and get a new paper every time they mess up.  Most times they have to figure out a way to make the mess up okay, or better.  And learn from it so that next time they have a clean sheet of paper they don't make the same mess up.

And hopefully that lesson will expand to all things in life.  You can't always just start fresh.

-mrp-

April 1st!

And, it's snowing outside.

Not an April Fools joke.

:/

Spring needs to fight harder to get here!

-mrp-

An Update :)

Goals Update:

It's been 11 days since I stated my goals here on the blog.  And I'm happy to say I followed through with a respectable amount of them :).

1. I read the bible every day since then [with the help of the bible in a year; which has daily readings].  I also journaled, and stuck with the idea that I don't have to write a long drawn out passage every time I journal.  It was nice to write one or two sentences a couple times.  Freeing.

2. I've drawn 7 of the 11 days.  That's more than 50%, so I consider this a win :).  I've also found something to help.  I've pulled out Ronald's deck of Munchkin cards, and have been drawing a new one each night.  It's fun, and definitely been a creative pusher to just get my brain to think more about art, and possibilities.

3. Duolingo.  Okay, so I've sorta sucked on this, but in my defense, Whit was in town from Saturday to Wednesday morning, and it's weird to do a half hour of language learning when a friend is in town :).  BUT, I did do it 5 times, which isn't too bad.

That's all.  Hope everyone is has an excellent Easter!

-mrp-

So Sad :(

It's so interesting to open up your facebook news feed and see 90% of your friends making a statement on something that's happening in the government.

It's kind of cool for the first inspiring day.

And then it's sad, when all the people opposed to that statement figure out clever ways to refute it [shrug].

What I want to say to most of my fellow Christians, is that you can both believe that God made marriage between a man and a woman, and also support equal rights in the United States of America.

Have you watched Lincoln yet?  Back in the day, the good Christian people had their panties all in a wad about freeing the 'colored' folk.  Some were adamant they were not equal to the white folk.  Same story about women.  Let the women vote!!! [ho-ly-shit-no!].  I believe it's the same story with the gays and lesbians.

Because marriage is more than just something that happens in churches, I wholeheartedly believe they need to be seen as equals in our government.  No one is asking for churches to marry a gay or lesbian couple.  No one is asking you to change your beliefs about what is right and wrong.  What they are asking, is that you give them the same rights straight people have [lifelong partners don't get to make decisions if their partner is in the hospital, they don't get tax advantages, they don't get to be recognized as a family unit].

I've only watched one talk about this on CNN [the video here], and it's just sad.  On all fronts.  It's sad that we can't come together and talk about it.  Just talk, without any hurt feelings, or bashing of each other [I personally think that Suze Orman did a SHIT job of being respectful of the other dude in the clip; and seriously, from someone who has been told she's wrong probably her entire life in her lesbian relationship, why would you want to turn around and do the same thing to someone else?  I mean, seriously, you're going to tell him he's not educated because he holds different beliefs than you?!].  sigh.

I hope marriage equality becomes a thing where all states and the federal government recognize gay and lesbian couples.

I also see both sides, and understand it's a scary situation for a lot of conservatives.  But it's just not fair.

-mrp-

30 selfies before I turn 30?

I might have added a new goal today... maybe.  I'm so bad at goals though, and trying to get through things [we remember how the alphabet drawing thing was... so good at first, and then I fell apart at V].... [I have plans to finish some day even if it's already more than a year later].

In any case, I took a self portrait today, and I love me some Cindy Sherman [her early work anyway, her later work is a bit cray cray].  But I'm getting close to my final year in my 20's [I can't believe the 30's are so close! Yikes!].  And to celebrate (?), I might attempt to share 30 self portraits before I turn 30.

So here's number 1.

-mrp-

New Goals...

So, when I was in middle school and high school, I was always checking out self help books from the library.

Saying that [well, typing it], sounds super lame.  But I don't actually think it was that lame.  It was just that I wanted to be better, and access my full potential! [which sounds so cliché!]

In any case, this morning, I'm wanting to once again create new habits, in order to be more tomorrow than I am today.  Because I truly believe I can be.  And if I don't ever start those habits, and get into routines, then I'll never achieve some of the goals which require more than a one time/one day commitment.

So I thought I'd share them with you.  I'm going to be using the pomodoro technique, if you haven't heard about it, and want to make better use of your time, you should totally check it out.  I've downloaded an app on my phone, but you can also use an actual kitchen timer.

New Daily Goals [which I've had on my hypothetical to-do list forever; and haven't actually done at all]:

* 1 pomodoro [25 minutes] of duolingo * [I'm learning German :); my awesome Onkel George died in Germany just a few weeks ago, and so a new determination has built up inside me to make this happen].

* 1 pomodoro of reading the bible and journaling * [Besides just actually gaining knowledge and thinking more about the things I believe, I think this will be really good for my identity in general, and writing out things I'm thinking about as well as ideas I have on making my business more than just a business, but also making it something that gives back to the community, and figuring out what I'm passionate about as well and how to make a difference in that part of the world].

* 1 pomodoro of drawing * [I took drawing classes in college, and I loved it (well, mostly, except for that one tool professor).  My one teacher made me promise I would continue to draw after the class was over.  My response was, "of course!"... but I've sucked at it.  So hopefully this will get me back in the habit, and more inspired].

And that's it, as far as daily goals.

An hour and a half with short breaks in between.

Totally do-able [not for everyone, I know, but I'm self employed, so it totally is for me].

In other news, we're turning in an application next week for a special house purchasing program [they help you out with the down payment, and there are special restrictions for purchasing their houses; which we currently qualify for (hooray!)].  Who knows what will happen with it, or whether or not we'll be accepted, but we're hopeful!

That, and I'm working at The Cove this summer in the box office :).  I'm sorta excited about it, and it's a good summer for us to stick around SB and not spend money traveling [no weddings, or other big things that we NEED to go to].  So instead, we'll try to make some extra money, pay off more debt and just plug into SB more.

-mrp-

pinterest

Pinterest is less offensive than facebook... I hope it stays this way.

-mrp-

savers and futuristic language

So I've stumbled upon some awesome TED talks recently, from friends sharing them on facebook.  So this morning, instead of perusing facebook for inspiration/education/entertainment, I decided that I would just go to TED talks site and watch one of the videos I found which had an interesting title.

I found this:
"Could Your Language Affect Your Ability To Save"

Of course, most of you know since the husband and I have been married, I've been investing a lot of time and thought into money, and how to get it to work best for us.  Dave Ramsey says something like, you have to tell your money where to go and what to do, otherwise, it will always have control over you.

All that to say, money interests me, and the way we think about money interests me.

This Keith guy, he proposes the language we speak has an affect on how we see money and how we save money.  Our English language has a past, present and future tense where we have a lot of things that change in our terminology.

It rained last night     vs    It is raining     vs    It is going to rain tomorrow

Other languages approach the tenses differently, and translated is like this:

It rain yesterday      vs     It rain now      vs     It rain tomorrow

Obviously, he does a much better job explaining it [you should go ahead and watch it :)].  But his studies show USA citizens are worse savers than most [well, everyone except Greece] countries where the language for future encounters is not as different as present encounters.

It's fascinating to think about.

My favorite part though, when when he goes on to talk about health benefits.

He talks about smoking.  While saving is a current pain in exchange for a future pleasure, smoking is a current pleasure in exchange for a future pain.  And of course there are links to people who suck at saving, also being smokers, and overweight.  Clearly pointing to current pleasures outweighing their future pains.

-mrp-

"uncomfortable truth"

Homelessness... 

The “uncomfortable truth” about panhandling is not that most homeless people are liars, but that many of us want them to be.  Beneath all our ego and superficiality, our core desire is to make human connections – and yet we deny such connections to those who most need them.  He’s a wino; she’s a con artist; those shoes look new.

Makes you think a bit, ya?

I read this, and then this, and then this tonight.  This Andy guys is an incredible writer/storyteller.  I encourage you to click on the links and read them.  And take time to think about what it's saying.

-mrp-

Mornings!

So there have definitely been times in my life where I hate HATE HATE mornings.  But recently, they're my favorite part of the day.

Ronald comes in before he leaves for work to give me a kiss good bye.

A few minutes later Bentley jumps up [shh, don't tell Ronald], and curls up with me until I'm ready to be awake.

Then, when we've decided it's time, Bentley snuggles with me, and is all cute and sweet and puppy-ish for a good 5 minutes while he lets me pet him and scratch his belly, and he tries to lick my face off.

Then, when I ask him if he's ready to be awake, and get out of bed, he pounces like a tigger, all over the bed.  It's awesome.

That is currently why I love mornings.

-mrp-

A Bitchin Saturday...

I've been on a recent tangent of cleansing my facebook newsfeed from lies and misrepresentation and internet junk.

Which you might think means I'm chucking people out my friend group, when in reality, it just means I'm posting a lot of snope.com links on peoples shared internet stories [the ones we used to be spared of on facebook, because elderly relatives used to only have e-mail].

It got me thinking though.  About how much information there is out in the world, and how we often do a crap job of doing the research to see if it's true or not.

And how freakin gullible we are.  I mean, seriously.  Do you know how many times I've seen the post of Bill Gates wanting to give everyone who likes the page a gazillion dollars, or the free ipad link.... we are somehow smart enough to not believe that bad shit will happen to us if we don't forward this onto 18 of our friends, but we're not smart enough to realize this is not, and never will be true [if you're looking for that, you have to get yourself onto a screening of Oprah or Ellen, duh].... [also: can you seriously NOT tell that it was photoshopped!!!  Honestly?!?!].

Full disclosure, if you have shared this, I'm automatically going to assume whatever political posts you have made, or believe in, you haven't done your research about that either.

That's right.

I said it.

Do your damn research!  There are honest truthful research capabilities with the internet!  Don't be that gullible, easily manipulated, lazy person who gets all passionate and bent out of shape about stuff they read on the internet, without first doing your research.

I'm in no way asking you to change your beliefs, but I AM asking you to freakin know why you believe them, and if the reasons you believe them are TRUE stories, and TRUE information and TRUE facts.

I don't know why there is so much untruth out there, but I am amazed at how a fabricated story can spread like wildfire.

-mrp-

ps: Thank the LORD my one grandfather never had e-mail; I'm sure I would have daily reads and links about the minutemen of which he was a long time financial supporter.

pps: I'm particularly fond of how in the second photo, the origin of the story is from a facebook group called "People are Fucking Dumb".... so so true internet.... they're so dumb they are sharing your fictitious story over and over and over again... so dumb.

pps: years ago, we were excited to get the mail because there would be cards, and letters, and real communication in them!  Then that was inundated with crap credit cards applications, sales shit, and other stuff that automatically goes into the recycle bin in my house... Then we had e-mail, and it was so much fun e-mailing back and forth to friends and family and having access to quickly interact with people through words... Then that got clogged up to where I now have four e-mails, and two of them are used solely for junk mail and forwards.  And then we had facebook, and it was awesome, and we got to see pictures, and stalk boys we liked and could end our wondering about their relationship status with a click of our mouses... and now that's clogged up too.  Which does make me wonder what the next thing will be.  I suppose we have text messaging [which a couple companies that have my digits actually text me info (a tanning place and target)].  But what will be next?

ppps: this also sort of makes me want to come up with my own bad advice, etc and see it go viral.  But that would just make me cringe at the illogical-ness of people.

sickness

I'm sick.  And while complaining about it on facebook is tempting, I'm resisting, 'cause unless it's cleaver, I don't really want to hear about other people being sick, so why should they want to hear about my snotty nose, stuffed up ears, cough from hell and achy muscles [which I usually like, 'cause that means I had a killer work out].

In any case, I have stuff to do, but no motivation to do it.

Last night, I woke up around 1am coughing [ps: when this happened when I was single, I was mostly annoyed, now that I'm a married, I feel SOOO bad coughing in the middle of the night when I know the husband is asleep and waking up early to go to work; how sucky].

It was one of those annoying coughs.  Like a tickle in your throat.  A very small tickle.  And then when you cough to get it to go away, it's starts a coughing explosion.  So you take a sip of water.  That makes it go away for half a second while you think, "I just want to freakin sleep!".  Then more coughing.  So I get up and get some juice, I'm not a doctor, I don't know, maybe it will help!?!

Negative.

So I end up in the kitchen again [side note, I usually sleep walk to the kitchen once or twice a year and have, more than once, woken up with my hand stuck in a pringles container].  I grab some tortilla chips, eat a few there and then take a few with me back to the bedroom [which Ronald hates food in the bedroom/on the bed].

Silence for 15 minutes, when I consider if I need another Nyquil.  Then the damn tickle is back.  I quickly squelch it's annoyingness with a chip.

Better.

Sleep.  No more Nyquill needed.

***

I should be doing some sort of other work, but it seems harder than writing a ridiculous blog about my last nights sleep :).

So instead I'll settle for some creativelive.com... It's like school while I'm in my pj's, and for free... it's semi productive.  I'm learning.  I'll leave the doing things for tomorrow.

-mrp-

self portrait research

Some of you remember I started a self portrait series back in the day, right after I got out of college.  It was titled "To Scare My Mother".  It was awesome [smile].  And something I'm still pretty proud of.

So I've decided to revisit the idea of another self portrait series.  In college I studied Cindy Sherman who did a series of awesome self portraits back in the day.  And I figure, although my friend pool is growing up here in the bend, I still don't have a ton of people who would feel comfortable having me photograph them.  So, I'm comfortable in front of the camera, and I have time right now to do awesome photo/art things... so why not!

I'm mainly going to focus on things that are a bit out there, and more unique than the hum drum portraits [I can take an awesome portrait, what I want to take is an awesomely AWESOME artsy ART portrait].  In my research [pinterest, you are so ever helpful in this!] I've found, however, google apparently thinks "Glamour Portraits", really means topless chicks with giant boobs... wtf.

I realize nudity is all over the art scene, and I TOTALLY appreciate the figure and nudes... but "glamour" does not freakin mean nude!

Meh.

End of rant.

I'm sure I'll share eventually when I get one or two done.  I'm thinking I need to start out easy, and then work my way up.

Here are my "To Scare My Mother" series:

-mrp-

ps: everytime I write a blog... or really anything... I have to go back and erase like, at least two or three "that" or "that's".  Thank the Lord one of my mentors senior year in high school pointed out how often and ridiculously I use that stupid word :).

really though...

It totally ticks me off when people use their facebook accounts for the sole purpose of spreading hate, bitterness, ugliness, and just bad shit.  And I don't even think the people that do it, realize what they are doing!

There is so much of that in the world anyway.

You are probably right, that the world is out to get you... and everyone else... But really, the only thing you CAN do, is determine how you respond to that world that's out to get you.

I'm not saying there's no legitimate thing to bitch about on facebook [I'm a culprit of this every once in a while].  But when you seriously post every.single.time... about how you are being taken advantage of, or being disrespected, or how the president is taking away your freedoms... it's just too much.

There are so many beautiful things to share.  And so many awesome things happening in this world.  Why can't we share those things, and bond together about awesomeness, instead of bitterness and the things that we tsk and shake our heads about... why do so many people not share the story about the dude that offered the indianapolis guy a job, after he found out he was going to trek through the snow for 10 miles to get to a job interview [right!?!].  But will instead share our ragingly one sided opinions on everything.

I just wish people were more aware that they have to be the change in the world.  We have to educate each other, and that doesn't mean sharing links and bonding over negative things via facebook.  It instead means we need to do better to change things.  To be living life off of the computer in an effort to make a difference.

And I need to do better at this too... once again, I'm my a culprit.

-mrp-

snowy day

Yesterday it snowed the prettiest snow.

There was sun shining down between the clouds.

Like a handful of confetti, being blown out of ones hand.

The kind of snow that floats and is found in dreams and fairy tales.

Going up and down and around before reaching a resting place.

Like a soft swirl of a snow-globe.

-mrp-

pink

There comes a time every winter where I decide that it's time to paint my toe nails bright pink.

This year it's mid February.

-mrp-

Gendercide

I'd never heard of the term "gendercide" before today.

But it makes sense.

I read about it on the Mommy Monologues blog [I read it cause I'm her friend, not because I'm preparing to be a mommy, fyi].

And it's so tragic.  And awful.  And cruel.

I think of the amazing women in my life, and am so sad for the girls that weren't allowed to live and become amazing women as well.

-mrp-

Quizzed...

So it's V-Day and Ronald is out of town [we haven't had a valentines day together since we got married, it's no big deal; I do miss him in the general sense, but I'd be more pissed if he missed my birthday or Christmas, or our anniversary].

IN ANY CASE... I was fb-ing earlier, and came across this [mixed in between all the lovey-dovey, the card companies are the devil, and the general here's some zombie news]:

A Downton Abby Quiz

This is my result:


Matthew & Mary

The road to your union may have been rocky, but now that you're together, you are, like Matthew and Mary, the "it" couple, perfectly matched in looks, intelligence, and values. You are equally well matched in strength of will, which sometimes allows for differences of opinions to escalate. Fortunately, you always relish the opportunity to make up! At the altar, Mary told Matthew, "I should hate to be predictable." Even so, you and your partner are predictable in one way: you were made for each other.

I think they probably got it right :).

-mrp-

Hair...

This is me now-ish...

And orange-ish, apparently... [smile]... reception lighting...

I'm thinking I want to grow my hair out long.. maybe a few more inches... and I'm also thinking about going with some bangs again, like this:

Tim, my most awesomess hair dresser in Springfield, MO said I could totally pull it off :)...

So, as a reward for finishing the two weddings in January, I'll be making an appointment.

Last time I had bangs it didn't last long, but I think with the long hair, maybe it will last longer?  We'll see :).

*right after timmy cut and styled it... i love him... i wish i could have him style me every morning.

-mrp-

"If you want to start a book club...."

"If you want to start a book club, you should read the book, "So I want to start a book club".

Have you guys heard that commercial?  I can't remember if it's off pandora or hulu... but I've heard it a lot, and it's sort of annoying actually [almost all commercials are really], I can't even remember what it was advertising.

But today, I sure did google, "starting a book club" [I read a link on Oprah's site].

And then we had our first meeting, which was cool.  I'm hoping to talk a few other people into it, so that we can have some more diversity.  But people are noncommittal [I started out with "anti-committal" which I kind of like better].

Things I was glad for:
-almost all of us [with the exception of one dude], have never been a part of a book club [I'm choosing to believe this is a good thing :)].
-everyone seems pretty financially practical [library books, free kindle books, etc].

***I just heard the commercial!  Pandora, for carmax***

-the people that showed up seem really cool.
-although totally not a huge deal, the whole "smart" thing bothers me occasionally  right... so being a part of a book club makes me excited, but also sort of hmm... defensive on my smartness.  I'm hoping I'm not too awkward when it comes to that.
-4 out of 5 of us are not originally from SB.  I think this is also sort of cool.  And interesting.  I most often connect with people who also don't have roots in whatever town I'm in.  It's neat.
-We ended up picking Same Kind of Different As Me [damn, just looked that up, and the author is coming to Elkhart in September!  Woah... that's awesome.  It's like we're a big city!

Also, sort of interesting... Ronald and I start things, and commit to thing and groups easily enough... and pretty hard core 100% if we're in it, we're totally in it.  Not half assed.  And yet, we're sort of anti-committal on things like buying a house, or a car, or having a relationship [before Ronald, I didn't date anyone longer than one month].  Just sort of odd, right.  Oh well.  Maybe that's because of our priorities.  Community is high on both of our priorities.  So committing to them is necessary.

In any case, I'm excited for the book club.  If we do end up keeping it small, then we might be able to host at a few peoples houses, which I think would be awesome, and comfy, and more conversation-producing.

All that to say... yay.  Book club is going to be fun... and maybe Ronald will join us too.  We'll see.

-mrp-

mall walkers...

I was in the mall today [thanks to some awesome coupons for aerie], and I got there close to when it opened at 10am.  I learned 2 things while there:

1. If you have a toddler and are a stay at home mom, the malls kid area is the place to be in the winter [it's a pretty good idea, all the toddlers were having a blast playing together].

2. Mall walkers freak me out.

Seriously, about #2.  They turn following some unknown-to-me path, and you sort of don't want to be awkward and stop so they can walk in front of you [this isn't a driving situation, after all], but you also don't want to walk in front of them, only to feel like you have got to speed your stroll up so that they don't catch up to you.  Sheesh.

Mall walkers... totally make my shopping experience awkward.

-mrp-

ps: they were all decked out in workout clothes too... which I know I shouldn't judge [how many times have I put on my workout clothes and not worked up a sweat].  But it was weird to see them in the mall, dressed up to work out, and creeping up behind you every couple of minutes.  Between them, the random guy that's either handing you lotion, or asking to straighten your crazy looking hair, it's no wonder I don't spend more time in the mall... eek!

I love my parents :)

So half an hour ago, I noticed that my mother was on facebook, so I called 'cause she's been wanting to learn how to share images on facebook that I have posted.

After being confused, and dad taking over, we finally figured it out [and that there was no way to share with germany family that weren't on facebook].

She/dad then proceeded to share all off the NM Chrstmas Album that I posted :).  Apparently she loves them all... or needs to share all of them in order to really learn how to do it.

I love my parents.

-mrp-

awesome husband day

today, my husband is awesome.  he cleaned off my car when he cleaned off his own this morning.

-mrp-

the finish line..

So although I don't sit down and actually write out a new years resolution [I admire those of you that do], I'm more of a ... well, a ponderer, and an eventualist.

Which really actually goes back to the reason I'm writing this post.

This year I want to be less of an "eventualist" [I'll eventually get to that!].  And more of a "right-now-ist", and "finish-ist"... okay, so that last one sounds stupid.  Whatev.

I'm realizing for the most part, I get on things right away, and all those immidiate gratification things, I'm totally on!  But then for some of the other things, I struggle.  Like editing a session.  I can get my fb sneak peek up within a few days, and then the blog selections chosen within a few weeks... but it's so hard for me to sit down and freakin finish the session.  I literally get to a point where I'm like, "I've been looking at this same session for two hours, let's work on something else".

This is not JUST in my editing, but also in cleaning, laundry, and other things.  I have a hard time finishing as strong as I started.  So one of my goals this year is to get better at it.  Not that I would just finish, but that I would learn to push through that meh feeling, and conquer the finished product!

To finish lines.

-mrp-

ps: if I did have a list, running another 5K would be on it :)